Look, I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you. Breakups suck. They really, really suck. And if you’re reading this right now, chances are you’re in that awful place where everything reminds you of them, your chest feels tight, and you keep checking your phone hoping for a message that isn’t coming.
I’ve been there. We’ve all been there. And honestly? Anyone who tells you to “just get over it” clearly hasn’t had their heart properly stomped on.
The First Few Days (AKA Survival Mode)
Right now, your only job is to survive. Seriously. That’s it.
Don’t listen to people telling you to immediately hit the gym or start dating again. Your brain is literally going through withdrawal right now – the same chemicals that get released when you’re addicted to something are going haywire because that person was your drug.
So what do you do? Basic human maintenance. Eat something, even if it’s just toast. Drink water. Sleep when you can. Take a shower. These sound stupidly simple, but when you feel like your world just exploded, even brushing your teeth feels impossible.
Call that friend who always picks up. You know the one. Let them bring you ice cream and listen to you say the same things over and over. That’s what friends are for.
Stop Torturing Yourself (Please)
I know you want to check their social media. I know you want to drive by places you used to go together. I know you want to analyze every single text message from the last three months looking for signs you missed.
Stop it. Just stop.
This is like picking at a wound – it’s never going to heal if you keep ripping the scab off. Block them if you have to. Delete their number if you have to. Ask your friends to hide their posts from your feed.
You’re not being dramatic. You’re being smart. You can’t heal while you’re still getting hurt.
Feel All the Feelings (Yes, Even the Ugly Ones)
Here’s what nobody tells you about breakups – you’re going to feel angry. Really angry. And that’s okay.
You might feel angry at them for breaking your heart. You might feel angry at yourself for “not being enough.” You might feel angry at couples holding hands in the grocery store. You might feel angry at your friends for still being happy.
Feel it all. Cry in your car. Scream into a pillow. Write angry letters you’ll never send. This isn’t weakness – this is processing. Your heart is trying to make sense of what happened, and sometimes it needs to get messy before it gets clear.
The Lies Your Brain Will Tell You
Your brain is going to try to convince you of some really dumb stuff right now:
“You’ll never find anyone else.” Lie. You’re not a limited edition Pokemon card.
“You should have tried harder.” Maybe, maybe not. But you can’t save a relationship by yourself.
“Everyone else has it figured out.” Double lie. Everyone’s just pretending on Instagram.
“You wasted all that time.” Wrong. You learned things. You grew. You loved someone, and that’s never a waste.
When these thoughts show up (and they will), just notice them and let them pass. Don’t argue with them, don’t believe them. They’re just your hurt brain trying to make sense of chaos.
Building Yourself Back Up
Here’s the thing about rock bottom – it’s a solid place to build from.
Start small. Really small. Maybe it’s making your bed every morning. Maybe it’s going for a five-minute walk. Maybe it’s texting one friend each day just to say hi.
You’re not trying to become a whole new person overnight. You’re just trying to remember who you were before this relationship, and maybe discover some parts of yourself you forgot about.
What did you love doing before you spent every weekend at their place? What dreams did you put on the back burner? What friends did you lose touch with?
This isn’t about “winning” the breakup or making them jealous. This is about you remembering that you’re a complete person all by yourself.
The Truth About Moving On
Moving on isn’t linear. It’s not like climbing stairs where each day gets a little bit better. It’s more like a really drunk person trying to walk in a straight line – lots of stumbling, some backtracking, a few face-plants along the way.
Some days you’ll feel strong and think you’re over it. Other days you’ll hear their favorite song in an elevator and want to curl up in a ball. Both days are part of the process.
The goal isn’t to forget them or pretend it didn’t matter. The goal is to get to a place where thinking about them doesn’t feel like someone’s sitting on your chest.
And you’ll get there. Not today, probably not next week, but you’ll get there. Because you’re stronger than you think, even when you feel completely broken.
Your heart will heal. You will love again. And the next time, you’ll love better because of what you learned from this pain.
Trust the process. You’ve got this.
🔒 Disclaimer
This article is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice.
If you’re experiencing deep emotional distress, please consult a licensed therapist or mental health professional.
