Introduction: When Goals Became a Burden
There was a time when I believed that having big goals was the only way to live. I was constantly chasing success, convinced that if I didn’t think big, I’d fall behind. Looking back, I now realize I was trapped in a cycle that was more harmful than helpful. This is the story of why I stopped chasing big goals — and finally found peace.
that having big goals was the only way to live. “Dream big,” they said. “Go big or go home.” Those lines were everywhere — in books, social media, even in school lectures. So I made huge goals. I wanted to be successful, rich, admired. I thought those goals would push me to greatness.
But somewhere along the way, those goals began to feel like a weight. Every day I wasn’t closer to them felt like failure. I started waking up with anxiety instead of excitement. My worth became tied to my progress. I didn’t feel proud. I felt behind. And one day, I just… stopped.
What happened after that surprised me more than anything else. I found peace.
The Problem With Constantly Chasing Big Goals
1. The Trap of “Not Enough”
Big goals often come with an unspoken message: you’re not enough right now. You have to be better, richer, fitter, more productive. I was always planning five years ahead. I never lived in the moment.
This left me in a constant state of stress. My daily wins didn’t feel like wins. They were just stepping stones toward some future version of success.
2. The Comparison Game
Social media made it worse. I saw others hitting big milestones — new cars, promotions, dream vacations. I kept asking myself, “Why not me?” Even though I was working hard, I felt like a failure because someone else was faster.
3. Burnout Disguised as Hustle
There’s a fine line between ambition and burnout. I crossed it without realizing. I thought I was being “driven,” but really, I was exhausted. I lost interest in things I used to enjoy. Even when I achieved something, it felt empty.
What I Did Instead: Shifting My Mindset
1. Replaced Big Goals With Daily Intentions
I stopped planning for the next five years and started asking: What would make today feel meaningful? Sometimes it was as simple as writing one good paragraph, calling my mom, or taking a quiet walk.
These small actions gave me real satisfaction. I started to see progress not as a finish line, but as a way of life.
2. Let Go of the Need to Impress
This was hard. I used to measure success by how others saw me. Now, I ask myself: Does this feel right to me? If it does, that’s enough.
Peace came when I stopped trying to prove something to the world.
3. Made Space for Stillness
I started meditating. Just five minutes a day at first. I sat quietly with my thoughts. At first, it felt uncomfortable. But over time, I learned to listen to myself. I stopped filling every moment with productivity.
That stillness became my safe place.
Real-Life Examples That Inspired Me
- Matt D’Avella, a minimalist filmmaker, shared how letting go of traditional success helped him focus on meaningful work and health.
- A friend of mine quit her corporate job and started gardening. She didn’t make as much money, but she said she finally felt alive.
- I met a yoga teacher who once wanted to be a CEO. Now, she teaches three classes a week, reads in the afternoon, and says she’s the happiest she’s ever been.
These weren’t lazy people. They just redefined what success meant to them.
Expert Opinions
- Dr. Susan David, psychologist at Harvard Medical School, emphasizes emotional agility over rigid goal-setting. She says that chasing happiness through achievement often backfires.
- Cal Newport, author of Deep Work, argues that true satisfaction comes from focused, meaningful effort — not endless multitasking and goal-chasing.
- A recent Harvard Business Review article reported that companies encouraging small, daily wins see better employee well-being than those pushing long-term stretch goals.
What Peace Looks Like Now
Peace, for me, is not lying on a beach doing nothing. It’s waking up without dread. It’s being okay with what I have right now. It’s knowing that my value isn’t based on what I achieve next.
I still make plans. I still work. But now, I enjoy the process more. I celebrate small wins. I rest when I need to. I don’t force myself to be “on” all the time.
And oddly, I’m achieving more than I used to — because I’m not constantly burning out.
Key Takeaways
- Big goals aren’t bad — but they shouldn’t steal your joy today.
- Small, daily actions are often more powerful than one big milestone.
- Comparison kills peace. Focus on your path.
- Rest is not laziness. It’s recovery.
- You don’t need to prove anything to be worthy.
FAQs
1. Is it wrong to have big goals?
Not at all. Big goals can be powerful. But if they create anxiety, burnout, or self-worth issues, it’s okay to reassess them.
2. How do I know if a goal is too big?
If it constantly feels out of reach and drains your energy instead of motivating you, it may need breaking down or rethinking.
3. How do I stay productive without big goals?
Focus on small daily wins and meaningful actions. Track your feelings as well as your results.
4. Will people think I gave up?
Maybe. But their opinion doesn’t define your peace. Let your life speak for itself.
5. Can I still dream big while living slow?
Absolutely. Dream big. But live grounded. Balance ambition with presence.
Final Thoughts (In My Raw Voice)
i just don’t want to chase anymore. not in the way i used to. it’s not about being lazy. i still want to grow. but i want to breathe too. i want to feel proud even if i didn’t tick a big box today. some days, brushing my teeth and getting out in the sun is enough.
i have learned that peace doesn’t scream. it whispers. and you only hear it when you stop running.
and i think i’m finally ready to listen.
